


there is a space

by bonibaru



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: M/M, Mild emotional hurt/comfort, Missing Scene, Yuletide 2019, post-episode 19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:03:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21840223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonibaru/pseuds/bonibaru
Summary: maggie33 asked:what happened after the kiss on the stairs in episode 19? Did they talk some more, did they kiss again, did Jack walk Zhao Zi home?“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.In that space is our power to choose our response.In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”— Viktor Frankl
Relationships: Jack | Fang Liang Dian/Zhao Li An | Zhao Zi
Comments: 32
Kudos: 209
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	there is a space

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maggie33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggie33/gifts).



> Kudos and comments are loved and cherished.

Jack loses track of how long they sit together on the concrete stairs. He’s too focused on Zhao Zi, slumped against his side in the protective circle of his arms, boneless under the combined weight of alcohol and sorrow, to glance at his watch or his phone to check the hour. But the late autumn night grows darker and cooler around them as time inevitably passes, so when Zhao Zi starts to shiver Jack decides they’ve been sitting long enough. He unwraps himself from Zhao Zi, takes off his jacket and drapes it around Zhao Zi’s shoulders. Zhao Zi accepts it with a melancholy smile, pulling the soft leather around him and letting Jack help him to his feet.

“Let’s go,” Jack says in a gentle voice that only a few weeks ago would have sounded phony and strange to his own ears. Now, especially after tonight, he doesn’t think he could possibly speak to Zhao Zi any other way. “I’ll walk you back.”

It’s not a terribly long walk to Zhao Zi’s house, but it’s far enough that unexpected trouble could still crop up along the way. While Zhao Zi is calmer now than he was earlier, Jack isn’t ready to leave him on his own just yet. Distraction can be dangerous even at the best of times—and now is definitely not a great time for Zhao Zi. But it’s a nice walk, at least. Their path meanders past restaurants and shops, most closed for the night but some with windows still alight to showcase their pretty displays. Steam curls up from manholes and grates in wispy, silvery plumes while street lamps cast a golden glimmer over everything else. It’s not a bad city, all things considered, Jack muses. He could have picked a worse place to stay, and he’s definitely settled for less pleasant company in the past than the man beside him now.

He’d been surprised when Zhao Zi asked him not to go—but even more caught off guard by the sense of relief that washed over him when he’d heard himself agree to stay. And the kissing—that had brought with it a different kind of relief, though no less surprising. Zhao Zi had kissed him willingly, with unforeseen enthusiasm and a truly unexpected amount of tongue. He’s hopeful for more of that in the days to come, after Zhao Zi has a chance to sleep off the liquor and find some distance from the raw grief of fresh loss.

They don’t say anything as they walk, which is nothing new for Jack, and Zhao Zi’s subdued silence—while out of character—is understandable. But they’ve only gone a couple of blocks when Zhao Zi suddenly gasps, grabs Jack’s arm and pulls him into a side alleyway between two shops. “What the—” Jack blurts out, momentarily startled; he hadn’t noticed anyone following them, and none of his instincts had been pinged by the handful of pedestrians around, mostly people trickling out of the bars now closing up for the night.

“Shh!” Zhao Zi hisses, anxiety sharpening his tone. “Jun Wei and Yu Qi are across the street!”

“Really?” Jack leans forward, trying to peer around the corner of the brick wall to see if he can spot Zhao Zi’s colleagues. “Wow, they really stayed out late, huh?”

Zhao Zi yanks on his arm. “They’ll see you!” he whisper-shouts, tugging Jack back into the alley. Jack stumbles a little, caught off balance by the force of Zhao Zi’s pull. Then he can’t help the yelp that escapes him as he’s shoved up against the cold brick wall, Zhao Zi leaning into him with an elbow across his chest, his other hand reaching up to cover Jack’s mouth as he stares anxiously back toward the street. 

A thrill runs up Jack’s spine. Of course, he never forgets that Zhao Zi is a highly trained police officer - he’s been on the wrong side of law enforcement for a long time, so remembering such important details is second nature for him. But until now, he hadn’t really considered the full scope of possibilities that kind of experience might allow in other parts of their future life together. Jack likes a little manhandling here and there, and Zhao Zi has just shown some surprising capability in that area. He files the thought away for future exploration. He’ll give it more extensive thought later tonight, in fact, after he’s left Zhao Zi safely on the doorstep of his house and gone back to his lonely room at Tang Yi’s place. There, he’ll have plenty of time to lie in bed and thoroughly consider the hidden potential of Zhao Zi’s physical prowess.

A quiet laugh escapes him at the thought, his breath huffing out between Zhao Zi’s fingers. Zhao Zi turns back to him, looking up at him with a slight frown. His eyes are still red and a little puffy from crying. Jack doesn’t like it—Zhao Zi should never look so sad. He wants to put a smile back on that handsome, guileless face. He opens his mouth and playfully, gently, bites down on Zhao Zi’s palm. Zhao Zi’s eyes widen a fraction, his pupils blown in the dim light filtering in from the street lamps. He pulls his hand away and absent-mindedly wipes it on the front of his jeans, his gaze now fixed on Jack’s teasingly smirking mouth.

“You don’t want them to see us together?” Jack asks softly. It’s not unexpected, none of the other cops are particularly fond of anyone from Xin Tian Meng. Zhao Zi swallows and then looks away, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I-it’s not you,” he says. “It’s me. I don’t want them to see me. They’ll know I was crying, and then they’ll feel like they have to talk to me about it, if not tonight, then at work sometime. But they both have their own problems to deal with. I don’t need them to feel sorry for me on top of everything else they’re going through.”

“It’s not that they feel sorry for you. It’s just - they understand what you’re going through, and they care about you. Just like you care about them. It’s okay for people to want to take care of you, Shorty,” Jack says. 

Zhao Zi looks up at him and tries to smile. “Like you do?”

Jack cocks his head to the side, raises a hand and shakes a finger at Zhao Zi. “Not exactly like I do. I don’t want to share you _that_ way.”

Zhao Zi drops his eyes shyly, but his smile broadens a little more genuinely at the teasing. Jack reaches out and puts his hands on the other man’s hips, pulling him closer again. “It’s okay that you didn’t want to see them just now. I like having you all to myself.” He puts a finger under Zhao Zi’s chin, tilts up his head so their eyes can meet. “And now that I’m staying, I’ll get to have even more of you.”

He isn’t expecting it when Zhao Zi stretches up on his tiptoes to kiss him. He almost laughs with delight; he was already smiling as it was, so at first Zhao Zi gets mostly teeth for his boldness. But as the kiss deepens, Zhao Zi is even less restrained than he was for their previous kiss, pushing himself against Jack’s body and taking tiny, experimental nibbles of Jack’s lips with his teeth. Jack pulls Zhao Zi more tightly against him - but when Zhao Zi presses his palm hard against the front of Jack’s uncomfortably tightening jeans, his fingers fumbling at the buckle of Jack’s belt, Jack grabs his hand and moves it away, breaking the kiss along with it. Jack wants this to happen, but he doesn’t want it to happen now, not when Zhao Zi’s grief is still raw. Not in an alley, not when Zhao Zi has been drinking his way through a major emotional upheaval—it hits far too close to home. Jack’s had a handful of marks he’s taken in exactly like this, making his move when they’re broken down and searching for something solid to hold onto. Zhao Zi deserves better, and Jack intends to make sure that he gets only the best from now on.

“Oh! S-sorry,” Zhao Zi stammers, his cheeks flushing dark with embarrassment as he tries to pull his hand free from Jack’s firm grip. “I thought you meant - I was just—”

Jack muffles the stream of nervous words by pulling Zhao Zi against his chest again, this time for a hug, one hand at his waist and the other settling on the back of Zhao Zi’s neck. Zhao Zi is tense for a few more seconds, but soon sags against Jack with a deep exhalation, wrapping his arms around Jack’s torso. The bricks are hard under Jack’s shoulders, their uneven coarseness not exactly comfortable even through the fabric of his shirt. But at least he’s been leaning here long enough that the wall isn’t cold anymore.

“Zhao Li An,” Jack murmurs into the shorter man’s hair. “People always have choices. Didn’t you just say that to me yourself? That you became a police officer to teach others they can choose another way?” Jack pulls back to look at him again, one gloved hand coming round to cup his face, brushing away the last remnants of tear tracks now dried on his cheeks. “You did that for me tonight. You gave me the opportunity to choose my own way when you asked me not to leave. You made the choice to ask, and I made the choice to stay. So from now on, all the rest, we get to choose together." He smiles softly. "Some things are important enough not to be rushed.”

Zhao Zi closes his eyes. His breath hitches when he finally speaks again. “Are you really sure you’re not going to leave?” 

Jack leans in, closing the space between them to kiss Zhao Zi once more, this time quick and chaste. “I’m sure,” he reassures him. He’s definitely going straight back to Tang Yi’s after he sees Zhao Zi safely home and tucked into bed, but all thoughts of climbing into his own bed alone afterward have fled from his mind. He’s got to get this settled as soon as possible—Zhao Zi needs to know he’s serious, and there’s only one sure-fire way to make his intentions clear. Jack knows how to play the long game, and with Zhao Zi, that means going all in from the start, proving he isn’t making empty promises he doesn’t intend to keep. 

He doesn’t have much in the way of worldly possessions, so it won’t take him long to pack his things and set his affairs straight with Xin Tian Meng. Interpol will be a little trickier, but he’ll manage. He might not be able to put them off forever, but he can surely put them off for now. It’s not like they can fire him, anyway, he thinks to himself with a wry grin. He’s a free agent, after all. He can take himself out of the game whenever he wants, do whatever he wants. And right now, what Jack wants most of all is to start carving out a space with Zhao Zi for their newfound togetherness, in whatever way they choose.

“Come on, Shorty,” Jack grins down at him, taking his hand and pulling him gently toward the street. “Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you skuldchan and glymr for all the help, inspiration, firm nudges and cheering!


End file.
